I guess everything is FINAL

1.10pm

I guess everything is final. The landlady came this afternoon while I was still in a deep slumber. A wake up call. I had a late night last night. Cheering myself up with my buddies, we went to town and roamed till all of us can’t stay awake anymore. She came at noon, with the new possible tenant. There’re 3 of them, women. Two was wearing scarf and one was wearing a short dress. She had ugly legs and shows it off un-shamefully. I observed them and laughed silently at the girl in dress and checked myself up, I was un-consciously being rude. The landlady showed them around, telling them about the house facilities. I heard she mentioned about the aircond in the master bedroom. I kept my sleepy face as welcoming as possible. Oh, hell..it’s SUNDAY. Sane, career and busy person don’t wake up at least until 1 pm on Sundays. At least I don’t. And as sudden as they came, they left. I am alone again in the house. I guess it’s final. I am finally moving away from this place, the place that holds so much memory and so much pain. I am leaving. I am sure my friends can breathe in relief once I left. They hated my staying here. They hated how this place gives me suffering. They hated how it seems to remind me of him.

I went from room to room. My room. Our bedroom. His towel was still there, so does his shirt. And the shower. His toothbrush was still there. It’s been 3 month since he left..and everything was still in place. Sadness tug upon my heart. I had no more tears left for him. Its all over now. Life has to move on and I hope he is happy in heaven. I really do. Tears seems to make a comeback and start streaming down my face. I will missed this place and the memories of him. His smell, his face and the warmth of his embrace. Oh no, not again.. I will not sink into depression again. No.

I guess everything is final. The new tenants will move in soon. And I have to move out. I have to leave, as informed to the landlady. No more delay. No backing out. No turning back, definitely. It’s just a matter of time. I am going to miss the people who have been part of my life all these years. I closed the door of my bedroom, closed my eyes and pray, Please God make the changes easy for me to adapt. I prayed for him too, May you rest in peace my love. I guess everything is final.