11.30am

Dalam banyak-banyak hari dalam seminggu, orang paling x suka hari Isnin..hence the phrase 'Monday Blues'..

Bile hari Ahad, orang akan cakap "Ala..esok Isnin..". Pastu muka cam ala-ala down and boring..

Bile hari Isnin, semua orang sure akan datang kije lambat. Not semua la..but ALMOST semua.. (termasuk lah sy! ngee~) pastu muka masing-masing..samada muka boring atau muka bersemangat. Depend on how exciting their week-end were.. (termasuk sy juge..!)

Bile hari Isnin, segala-galanya seperti berlaku dengan perlahan. Nak bangun pagi g kije pon malas, bile ade kije..nak buat pon slow. Dalam hati 'Ala baru hari Isnin, You got four more longggggg~ day to go..' *sigh*

Bile hari Isnin kene sambung workload minggu lepas..pastu Bos akan tambah pulak dengan kije yang lain (tahniah..hehehe).

Dalam banyak-banyak hari dalam seminggu, orang paling suke hari Jumaat..hence the phrase 'Thank God It's Friday aka TGIF'.. (maybe for Monday kita patut say - Oh No It's Monday aka ONIM)

Bile hari Jumaat, bangun pagi jer dah excited. Esok cuti. Yayy!

Bile hari Jumaat, g kije awal..sebab nak settle kan workload untuk minggu ne so that Isnin minggu depan x delah menggelupur sangat bile Bos bagi workload baru. Kurang sikit monday blues nya..

Bile hari Jumaat walaupon pegi kije awal, tapi masa dirasakan lambat sangat berlalu. Yelah, esok cuti kan?

Bile hari Jumaat, otak dah mengatur macam-macam plan. Sabtu nak g dating, nak g lepak, tengok movie. Ahad nak g swimming, hiking, dating lagi. Macam-macam!

Bile hari Jumaat, bile jam dah pukol 6pm..maka seluruh office pulang dengan senyuman. Esok cuti la katakan..ngeee~

A very sweet song from Colbie Caillat...auwww~

Erks..No, I'm not in love..but most of my fwens do..hee! *wink*

3.05pm

I came across this quote while reading manga Bleach, Chapter 385 – Vice it, Page 14 at http://www.onemanga.com/ (mind you, I ain't eating blind salary ha..I was waiting for my computer to search the document I want from the server). A little background about the chapter - The chapter is about how the fallen Captain Tousen, an ex-shinigami (I’m not gonna fill you in what a ‘shinigami’ is, you gotta read the manga for yourself..or Google it. Hihi~) battle with his ex-shinigami friend, Captain Komamura. Captain Tousen joined the shinigami academy in order to find justice for the person he love (killed during duty by her own comrade) and there he be-friended the dog/wolf headed Captain Komamura. Both religiously embraced the power of justice and believe that justice and purity is the only way to rule the world. But the beliefs is only a cover-up for Captain Tousen who betrayed his comrades and sub-ordinates and generally, the whole shinigami in Soul Society by joining forces with the ambitious Captain Aizen Sousuke and Captain Ichimaru Gin (another antagonist in this manga) to rule the evil world of Hollows – the Hueco Mundo (as an oppose to their world – Soul Society). His true reason for joining the shinigami academy in the first place was not to find justice (or in his manner of speaking during at that time..to make sure justice is being carry-out properly, without biased), but more about revenge..to avenge his deceased lover. When the cat was let out of the bag during the fight, Captain Tousen revealed his true intention to Captain Komamura who throughout all the hundred years (yes the shinigami can live up to..err..hundred of yearsssss~) was being fed by the illusion that they walk on the same path of justice and not revenge. Captain Tousen has been harbouring hatred and hatching the revenge scheme for such along time and had gone such a tremendous ordeal in order to carry out his revenge. Thus, came the quote: Does being virtuous imply justice?

The quote make me think about certain event that happened in my life..which, if I ever schemed any vengeful plan (and God knows how much the person deserve it) I would honestly believe nobody would blame me for doing so. Being virtuous surely does not imply justice. You forgive the person who did you wrong (no matter how wrong he did and for what-ever reason he did it) and hoping the person would change and mend their way. For certain people it is not as easy as it seem..the forgiven do not know how it felt like to be in your shoes, and chances are, they won’t even changed. Sometimes, you can forgive a person in a split second but sometimes it takes you years and maybe until you’re at the brink of death, to forgive a person. I guess it all depending on the degree of how wrong the act affected you. When the degree is too high I guess the price for it is revenge. But then again, how high is too high? How high is your own degree of patience to forgive a person before you fall to the level of avenging the person’s deed and holding up to the rancour?

Yes, being virtuous seldom makes you satisfied, the person does not know how it felt like to be in your shoes or how to live through the consequences of their act, but personally for me, to embrace the phrase of ‘an eye for an eye’ will level you to the level of those who ruled by their heart and emotion, instead of their brain and rationality. It takes you back to, how much faith you have in God? If revenge is the solution to your problem, then you got none. You believe that you make your own law..when by right you yourself are under God’s law. It might seem stupid to just forgive a person, but then believe when Allah Subhanahu Wata'ala said in Surah Az-Zalzalah ayat 7 - 8 (interpretation):

To just believe is never easy but have faith to what stated in the Quran is true, because Quran is our book of law. It will give you some sort of peace and keeps your sanity in check. The rule of Karma itself of ‘what goes around comes around’ is another way to explain ayat Al-Quran above. You need to believe and you need to have faith. Especially when you are so mad, the hatred and anger rule your every senses, always remember, Allah SWT knows what happened to you, and no, He won’t let it happened for fun. Accept everything that happened as fate, given times, no matter how hard it is you will feel better..and stronger and wiser and most important, saner. Instead of harbouring hate towards the person, take pity on them because a person such as that is pitiful since they are ruled by their own desire and emotion and un-able to think about others. Think about what their penalty will be in afterlife..that is scary enough. I dunt wanna be like that, thus I believe, though being virtuous does not apply justice, it does make you a better person and keeps you sane and justice, let’s just leave that to God. He knows how to deal with them; it’s just a matter of time. I read a phrase in a book given by a good friend as a birthday gift which said,

It’s a story from Rasullullah SAW time but I couldn’t quite remember what it was about. Even our prophet does not avenged those who did him wrong, so why should we? Rasullullah SAW leave it to Allah SWT to deal with them. We should do the same and move on with our life, find other happiness instead of mourning in hatred and revenge..if it is so hard to that, then give yourself some times. Nothing is easy, but eventually, you'll walk the walk gaily enough, you'll dance the dance swiftly enough..have a lil' faith in Allah SWT and yourself. Patience is a virtue. Sabar itu kan separuh daripada iman..but if you can, try to avoid people who prone to cruelty. You never know how your iman can be tested by them.. =)

Till then, I wanna resume my manga reading. If you guys have an opposition, just shoot. Each and everyone of us is blessed with a great mind with great opinion. I so wanna hear yours! And..no, I am not a very strictly religious person. I admit I have many flaw but what-ever it is, I try to make it up by being a good person, a good daughter who care about her family and a good friend.  Have a nice week-end homosapiens! Hehehe..

Cheers! *wink*

4.05pm

Suprise!

Err..not so suprise. Duhh..~ Kali ne dah 3 kali kowt dapat surat chenta. Dari sape? Dari MBPJ u'guys taw.. *grin* Nak marah pown, nak marah sape kan? Sendiri yang salah.Hehehe..Lambat bayar duet parking. Alahai..sumpah x sengaja..x kan la suka-suka nak kena saman.Sy demam ne, reaction cam slow sket..so lambat tingat pasal duet parking.Wuhuhuhu~ Minggu ne jer dah 2 kali kene =(

Kepada Abang MBPJ yang selalu jaga parking kat area opis neh (saya taw Abang yang mana..I've been watching youuuu~ Cam psycho plak..hehehe), Abang dah kenal kete sy yang selalu park depan Ayam Penyet atau Old Town atau Picaso atau Pizza Hut atau 7-Eleven tuh kan..(alah x kesah la depan kedai mana pown janji kat depan building tu juge..) maka dan sesungguhnya, if sy terlambat bayar parking, jangan la saman sy.. *blinking-blinking* Bukan nye lame sangat pon sy lambat, kadang-kadang setengah jam..kadang-kadang 2 jam. Buat-buat x nampak jer laaa..cannot meh? Maka dan sesungguhnya, kejadian ini tidak pernah sy sengajakan sama sekali...selalu nya sy terlupa! Sumpah x tipu Abang..sy ne jujur orang nya.X caya tanya Mama sy.. *wink*

Haihhh..balik tunjuk kat B (B adik sy..bkn bf or whatsoever. Shortform for Baby..) 3 keping surat chenta tuh sure guling-guling dia ketawakan sy. Demmit. Melayang Rm90..untuk x sampai sebulan pakai Si Gagak Hitam... RM30 sekali saman bila lewat bayar duet parking.Kalo x bayar lansung..hambik lu kene RM100 macam Abg Harlem hari tuh. Kesian dia datang dari jauh nak lunch dengan sy (sambil promote car kit dia yang sempoi..yelah dia kan otai kelab kete Persona.Ape kene-mengena ngan car kit kete sy plak kan? Sy x pakai Persona.hehe..) skali dapat surat chenta yang mahal..ahahaha..padan muka ko Abg. Paksa sangat Azx beli stereng Lotus tuh..Bwuek! What-ever. Life kene chill..walopon RM90 melayang begitu sahaja. Hahaha..(ketawa menyirap).

Cheers! *wink*

Today : 31st January 2010

Do you still remember? Today, on this very date last month you told me the news.

I dunno why you did what you did..and how you could do all dat you do to me..

I dunno how can a person i love so much can be so heart-less and cruel.

Today, it's already been A MONTH since you left me with the cold and selfish reality you forced upon me.

You are getting engaged, you said.

This month would have been 9 month we're together

But unfortunately, you choose to end all this with the most cruel way one can imagine.Very convenient.

I was so heart-broken I thought I would never get back on my feet again.

I cried every night from missing you, from asking my self why all this happened to me..why you, of all people did this to me.

But I thanked Allah SWT, for He gave me lots of supportive and concern friends who love me and was there to guide me out from my sadness. 

I refused to believe you are as heart-less as you seem to be potrayed by your act

I refused to believe that you never ever LOVE me 

You came back to me twice, and for what reason..only you and God knows it

But though no matter how hard I rejected, the reality always hit me back on my face..YOU ARE, in fact are CRUEL and a LIAR. I was blinded by my un-conditional love to you. I was..I admit, STUPID. But you, when you lied to me, you also lied to yourself.

Thank you Awak, for doing all this to me. I will try to make it without you somehow.

I will..no matter how hard it is, even if it kills me. I will smile and laugh like before, even if it fake and even if it kills me. I will be more glorified than before..and no, i wont make myself fair-skinned because an outdoor person like me, are really proud with my sun-kissed tanned skin.

I am all out of faith, and all out of hope, my sayang. 

I pray that Allah SWT forgive everything you did to me, because I still, for once in our relationship, couldn't find it in my heart to forgive you.

You hurt me beyond repair and it will take such a miracle to make me bounced like before.WTH. It hurt like hell Awak..

You already walked out from that door sayang, please don't turn back, no matter how much you missed me.

I'm doin' fine without you and if you are not doing fine without me, it is your problem and not mine.

It's been a month now, and I wanna bade you Good-bye. Have a nice life (if you can..).In case you are wondering..No, I dunt miss you ( I won't allowed myself to miss you, even if it kills me). No, I wont ask you to stay since you're so keen to walk-away. Now turn around sayang and keep walking. You choosed that path sayang, now walk along it.Stop thinking about me like you want me to stop thinking about you.I will stop loving you..even if it kills me.No, you already did that.

Till our path cross again (and it will, its just a matter of time, Insya-Allah).Goodbye Awak..

P/s : Revenge is so not my style..

Love : Saya